Jul 28, 2011

MI Bottle Scam

One of the best (and worst) schemes hatched by Kramer and Newman...

Scene 1:

NEWMAN: Wait a minute. You mean you get five cents here, and ten cents there. You could round up bottles here and run 'em out to Michigan for the difference.
KRAMER: No, it doesn't work.
NEWMAN: What d'you mean it doesn't work? You get enough bottles together...
KRAMER: Yeah, you overload your inventory and you blow your margins on gasoline. Trust me, it doesn't work.
JERRY: Hey, you're not talking that Michigan deposit bottle scam again, are you?
KRAMER: No, no, I'm off that.
NEWMAN: You tried it?
KRAMER: Oh yeah. Every which way. Couldn't crunch the numbers. It drove me crazy.

Scene 2:

NEWMAN: I don't understand. You fill an eighteen-wheeler?
KRAMER: No, an eighteen-wheeler's no good. Too much overhead. You got permits, weigh-stations, tolls... Look, you're way outta your league.
NEWMAN: I wanna learn. I want to know why.

Scene 3:

KRAMER: A free truck? Oh boy, that completely changes our cost structure. Our G and A goes down fifty percent.
NEWMAN: We carry a coupla bags of mail, and the rest is ours!
KRAMER: Newman, you magnificent bastard, you did it!

Jul 10, 2011

Fictitious Seinfeld Episode Plots

Very fun Twitter feed of plots for shows that never (but could have) happened. I hear he takes requests!

Check it out here.