Sep 30, 2009

Stepping Stone


As opposed to the brief cameos mentioned below, these semi-significant characters became well known after their roles on Seinfeld.

- Courtney Cox (Friends) as Meryl in "The Wife"

- Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) as Sidra in "The Implant", "The Pilot, Part 1" and "Part 2", "The Finale"

- Kristin Davis (Sex and the City) as Jenna in "The Pothole" and "The Butter Shave"

- Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond) as Tony the mechanic in "The Bottle Deposit" (Parts 1 & 2)

- Catherine Keener (40-Year-Old Virgin) as Nina the Artist in "The Letter"

- Debra Messing (Will & Grace) as Beth in "The Wait Out" and "The Yada Yada"

- Amanda Peet (The Whole Nine Yards) as Linette "The Summer of George"

- Jeremy Piven (Entourage) playing George in "The Pilot" (Part 1 & 2)

- Rob Schneider (Saturday Night Live) as Bob Grossberg from J. Peterman's business affairs department in "The Friars Club"

- Molly Shannon (Saturday Night Live) as Sam in "The Summer of George" (doesn't swing her arms)

Sep 28, 2009

Top 20 Seinfeld Scenes of all Time

Sep 24, 2009

Cameos


Some star cameo appearances that may have passed you by:

- Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives) as Dr. Sara Sitarides in "The Slicer"

- Jon Favreau (Swingers) as Eric the Clown in "The Fire"

- Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) as Tim the limo driver in "The Limo"

- Patton Oswalt (King of Queens, stand-up) as video store clerk in "The Couch"

- Chris Parnell (Saturday Night Live) as Jay Crespi in "The Butter Shave"

- Ben Stein (Win Ben Stein's Money) as the lawyer in "The Comeback"

- French Stewart (3rd Rock from the Sun) as movie theater manager in "The Opposite"

Sep 22, 2009

Feels like an Arby's night

Rounding out the third of the second tier characters is Elaine's on again/off again boyfriend Puddy. First appearing in The Fusilli Jerry and The Face Painter (both 1995), Puddy disappeared for a couple years and wasn't seen again until the final season, appearing in almost half of the shows that season. Here a are a few examples of of his classic deadpan delivery.

The Face Painter (1995)

Puddy: Hey, great dip. You made this?
Elaine: No, it's from the store.
Puddy: Oh. Hey, how come people don't have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack, why can't it be a meal, you know? I don't understand stuff like that.
Elaine: David? David, I think we aught to talk.
Puddy: Alright, that's cool.
Elaine: David, I don't think we should see each other anymore.
Puddy: You gotta be kidding, how come?
Elaine: Well, you see, David, you're a face painter.
Puddy: Yeah, that's right.
Elaine: Well, it's not that I don't like you, but, well to be perfectly honest, I'm just having some trouble getting past the face painting.
Puddy: Well, alright, so you don't like the face painting, I just won't paint it anymore.
Elaine: Yeah, but you like the face painting.
Puddy: Well, I don't need to do it. It's not like a habit or anything.
Elaine: Oh. You mean you'd stop it for me?
Puddy: Yeah, that's right.
Elaine: That's so, that's so sweet.
Puddy: Alright, I gotta go home and get changed before the game. I'll be back, we'll make out.

The Dealership (1998)

Jerry: So, Putty, you're selling cars now. No more being a grease monkey.
Puddy: I don't much care for that term.
Jerry: Oh.
Puddy: Ever see a monkey put together an engine?
Jerry: No... I saw one who used sign language.
Puddy: ...Yeah... I saw that... Coco.
Jerry: Yeah, Coco.
Puddy: Yeah, Coco... That chimp's all right. High five.

The Reverse Peephole (1998)

Elaine: What's this? What happened to your fur?
Puddy: I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check this out. 8 ball. You got a question, you ask the 8 ball.
Elaine: So you're going to wear this all the time?
Puddy: All signs point to yes.

Sep 17, 2009

Two-Faced

A couple characters miraculously turned into different people right before our eyes:

The original Morty Seinfeld appeared in only one episode (episode 2), and was then replaced by the much funnier Morty (who eventually became Tenant Board President at Del Boca Vista).

The original Lloyd Braun who appeared in "The Nonfat Yogurt" (1993) was a much slicker version of the funnier, quirkier actor who replaced him in The Gum (1995) and "The Serenity Now" (1997).

Sep 15, 2009

You Know I Always Wanted to Pretend I Was an Architect


George never stopped pretending to pursue his dream of a career in architecture. Below are many of those references, and remember - it's not a lie, if you believe it.

- The Stakeout (1990)
George: You came to see me, I work in the building.
Jerry: What do you do?
George: I'm an *architect*.
Jerry: You're an *architect*?
George: I'm not?
Jerry: I don't see architecture comin' from you...

- The Marine Biologist (1994)
George: Why couldn't you have made me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect.
...
George: Yeah, but enough about fish I can talk about other things - like architecture.

- The Race (1994)
Lois: What do you do?
George: I'm an architect.
Lois: Have you designed any buildings in New York?
George: Have you seen the new addition to the Guggenheim?
Lois: You did that?
George: Yep. And it didn't take very long either.

- The Blood (1997)
George: Well, I'm also an architect. Is that pastrami?
Vivian: Yes it is. I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. Hungry?
George: Very.

- The Van Buren Boys (1997)
George: Besides, Steven Koren has the highest of aspirations. He wants to be ... an architect.
Wyck: Is that right?
Steven: Actually, maybe I could set my sights a little bit higher.
George: Steven, nothing is higher than an architect.
Steven: I think I'd really like to be a city planner. Why limit myself to just one building, when I can design a whole city?
Wyck: Well, that's a good point.
George: No, it's not.
Steven: Well, isn't an architect just an art school drop-out with a tilty desk, and a big ruler?
George: (defensively) It's called a T-square.

Sep 12, 2009

Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back


This could be the scene that best sums up Frank Costanza. Click here for his reaction to learning of his son's death from George Steinbrenner, followed by calling Jerry notifying him of the news. Is there a better Frank Costanza moment?

Sep 10, 2009

Mistaken Identities


Sometimes names were subtly mangled in hilarious ways:

The Watch:
Doorman: (into phone) There's a George Bonanza to see you.

The Bottle Deposit:
Susie: No daddy, you'll hurt him! I love him! (waving after Newman) Goodbye Norman, goodbye!

**Ed. update: The farmer's daughter's cry of "Goodbye, Norman! Goodbye!" at the end of the episode was not originally scripted. Actress Karen Lynn Scott forgot that Wayne Knight's character was called Newman and accidentally called him "Norman", but the goof actually made the scene funnier, so it was kept in

The Baby Shower:
Jerry: My cable hook-up? What about it?
Agent: It's been illegally installed, Mr. Steinfeld.
Jerry: It has? I've been out of town. How did you know?
Kramer: Jerry, I had to tell them. I had to. I had no choice. They were onto the scam from the very beginning.
Agent: You're in serious trouble, Mr. Steinfeld.

The Van Buren Boys:
Peterman: Peterman here.
Kramer: Mr. Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back!

The Maid:
Man: You Steinfeld?
Jerry: Yeah.
Man: My name is Maxwell. I'm from Maid To Order. It's a pun.

The Bubble Boy:
Waitress: What's your name?
Elaine: Jerry Seinfeld.
Waitress: Gary Steinfield! I saw him on the Tonight Show.

The Package:
Kramer: Yeah. All right one chart coming up. Bennette, right?
Elaine: Benes. My last name is Benes you jackass.

The Money:
Morty: You know that number?
Kramer: I used to have a problem. (into phone) Well, what do you mean, he's not registered? Wha ... S, E, I, N, V ...
Helen: F. F, E, L, D.

The Strike:
Frank: (To George) Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. (To Kruger) Cougar, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe ... I lost my train of thought.

Sep 8, 2009

That's Gold, Jerry ... Gold!

Kenny Bania. First appearing in The Soup (1994), he's the stand up comedian we love to hate. But mostly hate. The best, Jerry, the best!

The Soup:
Bania: Oh, get the swordfish. Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry!
Jerry: I’ll have the salmon.

The Soup Nazi:
Bania: This guy makes the best soup in the city, Jerry, the best! You know what they call him? Soup Nazi.

The Secretary:
Bania: I told you Mendy’s had the best pea soup. The best Jerry, the best!

The Fatigues:
1. Bania: Hey, Jerry! How's it going? You gonna join us for dinner? The duck here's the best. The best, Jerry!

2. Bania (reading): Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it round tine. That's gold, Jerry, gold!

Things were also reversed once in this episode. The worst:

Bania: Maybe she's right. Maybe I am a complete hack. I'm the absolute worst. The worst, Jerry.

Sep 4, 2009

Stand Alone Comments


Some Seinfeld lines need no setup or context - pure genius on their own.

Kramer: Jerry, you stand on the threshold of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of.

Kramer: The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one hour martinizing.

George: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?

George: You see, you see? I see things as they are and I say, 'no!'. Uh, wait, you see things as they are not and you say ... wait, uh, when you see things, do you see things as they are? What do you say when you see things?

George: You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me: I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!

Phone Man: Look, I work for the phone company. I've had a lot of experience with semantics, so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic.

Sep 3, 2009

The 5th Player


Like "the 6th player" in basketball, Seinfeld has their "5th player", the #1 character off the bench who is just short of the starting 4. In Seinfeld, that player can be none other than Frank Costanza. Here are a few gold Frank Costanza moments:

- You know about the cups?
Frank: ...you know about the cup sizes and all? They have different cups.
George: I-I know about the cups.
Frank: You got the A, B, C the D. That's the biggest.

- Lock, stock and barrel:
Frank: (on phone) This .. is .. Frank .. Costanza.
Morty: What do you want?
Frank: You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!

- Rained down blows:
Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"