Aug 25, 2009

The price? Your soul.

Just as important as the four major cast members, don't forget about the stand out "tier two" characters. After Frank Costanza, Jay Peterman is arguably right up there on the hilarity meter (followed closely by David Puddy). Here are a few examples of the extravagant prose from one of the unsung heroes of Seinfeld.

Peterman: I'm afraid the problem with Zach is more serious. He's back on the horse, Elaine. Smack. White palace. The Chinaman's nightcap.

Peterman: And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand - in search of low-cost whistles. Filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions. Plus, I may have given him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.
Elaine: Look, uh, Mr. Peterman, the fact is that I was planning on breaking up with Zach anyway. He was cheating on me!
Peterman: Damn it, Elaine. That wasn't Zach. That was the yam-yam. Now, he is going cold turkey. (Ordering) And you will be at his side.

Peterman: I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium.
Elaine: Opium?
Peterman: That's right. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.

Peterman: Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul.


  1. Tier 2 are good in this order: Frank, Puddy, Peterman...hands down. Puddy is also a close second...I mean - he loves Arby's!!!!!!