Dec 21, 2009

Random one time friends

Sometimes random friends of Jerry and Elaine pop up once, then are never seen or heard from again. For example, Jerry's poker friends in The Opposite and Elaine's girlfriends in The Cigar Store Indian. Who are these people? All we know is they appear in single episodes, and then - like the wind - are never heard from again.

Dec 17, 2009

Location of Jerry's apartment

Dec 16, 2009


Dec 10, 2009

Jerry and George projects

Over the seasons, George and Jerry devised a number of shameless schemes to get what they wanted. A few are listed below, click titles for show descriptions.

- The Race - pretending not to have seen each other since high school and recount race winner
- The Roommate Switch - seeking to do the impossible
- The Marine Biologist - notable because George didn't know about this one until after Jerry rolled it out
- The Summer of George - George uses his newly found time to act as Jerry's relationship intern
- The Burning - George has Jerry use the same "it's me" line as his girlfriend, and Jerry has George practice showmanship and "leave on a high note"

Dec 4, 2009

Unseen characters

Great list of mentioned but never seen Seinfeld characters:

Click for list

Nov 13, 2009

Nov 12, 2009

Shark Jumping?

While most agree that seasons 4-7 (1992-1995) could be considered the four year Seinfeld peak, the season when the show lost it's way is debated. This transition could probably best be seen when when the big four started to become "characters of themselves". Examples could be Kramer more "out there" than normal (millennium party), George's anger going over the top (candy bar lineup), and Elaine fed up with her crew (bizzaro world). This may have actually happened before the departure of Larry David (season 8 - 1996) - possibly including his final year for season 6, which might explain a motive for his departure. Your thoughts?

Nov 6, 2009

Product placement?

Rold Gold pretzels ... ever wonder if the inclusion of George eating Rold Gold pretzels (quite prominently) was a coincidence? From an "internet" reference:

Okay, so what's the deal with Rold Gold pretzels? Jason Alexander's Rold Gold TV ad spots first aired in September 1993 — the same month he was seen eating the pretzels on the show (in episode 64). Isn't that a little fishy? "That was definitely a coincidence," says Monica Neufang, PR manager at Frito-Lay, parent company of Rold Gold. "As the number-one pretzel in the U.S., it's natural that if you're going to grab for a pretzel to be on the show, you're going to go with the leader." HMMMMMM.

And further investigation:

A recurring feature of Seinfeld was its use of specific products as plot points, especially various candy products. These products might be a central feature of a plot narrative (e.g. Junior Mints, Twix and Pez), or associating the candy with a guest character (e.g. Oh Henry! bars), or simply discussing the merits of the candy in a conversational aside (e.g. Chuckles). Examples of non-candy products featured in Seinfeld are Rold Gold pretzels (whose advertisements at the time featured Jason Alexander), Kenny Rogers Roasters (a chicken restaurant chain), Drake's Coffee Cakes, Bosco, Snapple, Specialized Bicycles, Ovaltine, Arby's, TV Guide, the board game Risk, Entenmann's and the J. Peterman clothing catalog (which actually went bankrupt whilst the show was still active). The computers in Jerry's apartment are always Apple Computers, which were changed every few seasons.

Nov 4, 2009

Little Known Fact #3

In The Calzone (1996), Jerry's hot girlfriend Nicki (Danette Tays) appeared in a 1990s Rold Gold Pretzel commercial with Jason Alexander. Full circle right there.

Nov 2, 2009

Ari Gold is George Costanza

We didn't know him then, but we do now - which makes it way funnier.
Also, sweatpant perfection.

Oct 29, 2009

Gone...and back

Sometimes characters would disappear for a while, and then resurface again years later.

Elaine's annoying actress roommate Tina appeared in a couple early episodes, the last in 9/25/91, and then randomly popped up again 5/19/94 one last time.

Putty made his first appearances in 1995 (the last in 5/11/95), then disappeared for a few years and showed up again 1/8/98, when he became a featured character.

Which did I miss?

Oct 27, 2009


George: You know how these interoffice politics work.
Jerry: No. I never had a job.

Unlike Jerry, George and Elaine were involved in a few lines of employment. Here they are, in chronological order:

Real estate agent for Rick Bahr Properties ("Drink up!")
Pendent Publishing ("I gotta plead ignorance on this thing...")
Kruger Industrial Smoothing ("I could go either way with you...but what the hell, we need someone")
The New York Yankees ("George likes his chicken spicy")
Play Now Sporting Goods ("I'll see you in hell, Costanza")

Pendent Publishing, for Mr. Lippman
Personal Assistant to Mr. Pitt
The Peterman Catalog, for Mr. Peterman

Oct 22, 2009

What's in a name?

A couple real life names were put to use on the show:

The real Lloyd Braun is Larry David's lawyer and manager.

The real Alec Berg was a writer for Seinfeld (and now for Curb Your Enthusiasm). In "The Face Painter", Berg's name is given to an attorney friend of Jerry's who gives him New York Rangers playoff tickets.

Though never seen (but frequently mentioned), Kramer's friend Bob Sacamano was modeled after writer Larry Charles' friend of the same name.

And most famously, the real J. Peterman was the founder of the actual J. Peterman Catalog, just like the one portrayed on the show.

Oct 20, 2009

What Happened to the Mets?

In the early years of the show, Jerry, George, and Kramer were die-hard Mets fans, often referencing the team, watching games on TV, and talking of attending games. Then, around season 3 or 4, suddenly and without notice, their allegiance shifted to the Yankees. While the Mets were experiencing a decline in popularity since their 1986 championship and the Yankees were on rise in the early 90s, this change was never acknowledged. Was it simply a reflection of the NYC pulse of the time, or was there more behind it?

Oct 16, 2009

Levels, wood, bladders, etc.

Kramer has had more than a few hair brained schemes. Here are a few, as well as some additional quotes:

  • The Beach cologne:

    Kramer: You know I got a great idea for a cologne. The Beach. You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach.
    Jerry: A cologne that smells like the beach. I can't believe I'm saying this, but that's not a bad idea.

  • Wood:

    Kramer: Well, I'm staining my floors and, y'know, I don't want to get my hands dirty.
    George: What, the whole apartment?
    Kramer: The whole apartment. And I'm buying that fake wood wallpaper. I'm gonna surround myself in wood. It's gonna be like a log cabin. 'Cuz I *need* wood around me. Wood, Jerry...wood.

  • Make your own pizza restaurant: (appears in season 1, and not again until season 6 - nice)

    Kramer: It's a pizza place where you make your own pie! We give you the dough, the sauce, the pound it, slap it, you flip it up into the put your toppings on and you slide it into the oven.

  • Bladder system:

    Kramer: Well, this will really free up my time so I can focus on more important things, like my bladder system.
    Jerry: Alright, it’s time to go.
    Kramer: Jerry, it’s not for people, it’s for oil tankers. You see the idea is for a rubber ball inside the tanker so if it crashes, the oil won’t spill out.

  • The Levels:

    Jerry: What are you doing?
    Kramer: Levels.
    Jerry: Levels?
    Kramer: Yeah, I'm getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. And I'm going to build these different levels, with steps, and it'll all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. You know, like ancient Egypt.

  • 10 cent MI bottle deposit:

    Kramer: A free truck? Oh boy, that completely changes our cost structure. Our G and A goes down fifty percent!
    Newman: We carry a couple of bags of mail, and the rest is ours!
    Kramer: Newman, you magnificent bastard, you did it!

    A few other not fully realized schemes, but amazing ideas nonetheless:

    Kramer: You can't get a refund. Your warranty expired two years ago.
    Jerry: So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo?
    Kramer: It's just a write off for them.
    Jerry: How is it a write off?
    Kramer: They just write it off.
    Jerry: Write it off what?
    Kramer: Jerry all these big companies, they write off everything.
    Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is.
    Kramer: Do you?
    Jerry: No. I don't.
    Kramer: But they do. And they are the ones writing it off.

    Kramer: You want to get outta here? Here's what we do. We leave the car here, we take the plates off, we scratch the serial number off the engine block, and we walk away.
    Jerry: Walk away?
    Kramer: You've got insurance. You tell them that the car was stolen, and then you get another one free.
    Jerry: Isn't there a deductible?
    Kramer: All right, what is your deductible?
    Jerry: I don't know.
    Kramer: Yes, because they've already deducted it.
    Jerry: From what?
    Kramer: The car, which we're leaving. So the net is zero. See - you pocket the money, if there is any, and you get a new car.

    And finally:

    Kramer: The bus is outta control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus.
    Jerry: Wow.
    George: You're Batman.
    Kramer: Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop.
    Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
    Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell.

  • Oct 13, 2009

    Movie References

    Through the seasons Seinfeld has snuck in some classic movie references. How about these:


    The Mom & Pop Store...
    Kramer: Uh, Jerry...these nosebleeds are starting again.
    Jerry: (wipes Kramer's brow) Maybe we should get you to a hospital.
    Kramer: Hey, I ain't goin' to no Bellevue! Look at me, I'm fallin' apart here.

    ...from Midnight Cowboy
    Ratso Rizzo: Just get me on a bus. You ain't sendin' me to Bellevue...That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here..


    The Chicken Roaster...
    Elaine: I work for your mail order catalog.
    Peterman: You're an errand girl, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.

    ...from Apocalypse Now
    Willard: I'm a soldier.
    Kurtz: You're neither. You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.


    The Andrea Doria...
    Jerry: Elaine, Newman is my sworn enemy. And he lives down the hall from my home - my home, Elaine! Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys.

    ...from The Godfather II
    Michael Corleone: My home! In my bedroom! Where my wife sleeps...and my children play with their toys.

    Oct 7, 2009

    SNL Connection

    Seinfeld has had a close connection to Saturday Night Live over the years - starting with Julia herself, a cast member from 1982-1985. Larry David was a writer for the show in 1984-1985 - had this timing not worked out Elaine Benes could have been a blond.

    Other SNL characters that have had roles in the show are John Lovitz (The Scofflaw - 1995), Molly Shannon (The Summer of George - 1997), Chris Parnell (The Butter Shave - 1997), Rob Schneider (The Friars Club - 1996), and Janine Garofalo (The Invitation and The Foundation - 1996).

    Oct 2, 2009


    While Jerry appeared in all 180 episodes, the other 3 major characters were not always present:

    George appears in every episode except for "The Pen" (third season). In the DVD extras, Jason Alexander confessed that he told Larry David he would quit if he was ever written out of the story line again.

    Kramer appeared in all but two episodes: "The Chinese Restaurant" and "The Pen", in the second and third seasons, respectively.

    Elaine did not appear in three total episodes: The first episode, The Trip (Part 1) and The Trip (Part 2). Also, Elaine appears only minimally in "The Pitch" and "The Ticket", due to maternity leave.

    Sep 30, 2009

    Stepping Stone

    As opposed to the brief cameos mentioned below, these semi-significant characters became well known after their roles on Seinfeld.

    - Courtney Cox (Friends) as Meryl in "The Wife"

    - Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) as Sidra in "The Implant", "The Pilot, Part 1" and "Part 2", "The Finale"

    - Kristin Davis (Sex and the City) as Jenna in "The Pothole" and "The Butter Shave"

    - Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond) as Tony the mechanic in "The Bottle Deposit" (Parts 1 & 2)

    - Catherine Keener (40-Year-Old Virgin) as Nina the Artist in "The Letter"

    - Debra Messing (Will & Grace) as Beth in "The Wait Out" and "The Yada Yada"

    - Amanda Peet (The Whole Nine Yards) as Linette "The Summer of George"

    - Jeremy Piven (Entourage) playing George in "The Pilot" (Part 1 & 2)

    - Rob Schneider (Saturday Night Live) as Bob Grossberg from J. Peterman's business affairs department in "The Friars Club"

    - Molly Shannon (Saturday Night Live) as Sam in "The Summer of George" (doesn't swing her arms)

    Sep 24, 2009


    Some star cameo appearances that may have passed you by:

    - Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives) as Dr. Sara Sitarides in "The Slicer"

    - Jon Favreau (Swingers) as Eric the Clown in "The Fire"

    - Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) as Tim the limo driver in "The Limo"

    - Patton Oswalt (King of Queens, stand-up) as video store clerk in "The Couch"

    - Chris Parnell (Saturday Night Live) as Jay Crespi in "The Butter Shave"

    - Ben Stein (Win Ben Stein's Money) as the lawyer in "The Comeback"

    - French Stewart (3rd Rock from the Sun) as movie theater manager in "The Opposite"

    Sep 22, 2009

    Feels like an Arby's night

    Rounding out the third of the second tier characters is Elaine's on again/off again boyfriend Puddy. First appearing in The Fusilli Jerry and The Face Painter (both 1995), Puddy disappeared for a couple years and wasn't seen again until the final season, appearing in almost half of the shows that season. Here a are a few examples of of his classic deadpan delivery.

    The Face Painter (1995)

    Puddy: Hey, great dip. You made this?
    Elaine: No, it's from the store.
    Puddy: Oh. Hey, how come people don't have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack, why can't it be a meal, you know? I don't understand stuff like that.
    Elaine: David? David, I think we aught to talk.
    Puddy: Alright, that's cool.
    Elaine: David, I don't think we should see each other anymore.
    Puddy: You gotta be kidding, how come?
    Elaine: Well, you see, David, you're a face painter.
    Puddy: Yeah, that's right.
    Elaine: Well, it's not that I don't like you, but, well to be perfectly honest, I'm just having some trouble getting past the face painting.
    Puddy: Well, alright, so you don't like the face painting, I just won't paint it anymore.
    Elaine: Yeah, but you like the face painting.
    Puddy: Well, I don't need to do it. It's not like a habit or anything.
    Elaine: Oh. You mean you'd stop it for me?
    Puddy: Yeah, that's right.
    Elaine: That's so, that's so sweet.
    Puddy: Alright, I gotta go home and get changed before the game. I'll be back, we'll make out.

    The Dealership (1998)

    Jerry: So, Putty, you're selling cars now. No more being a grease monkey.
    Puddy: I don't much care for that term.
    Jerry: Oh.
    Puddy: Ever see a monkey put together an engine?
    Jerry: No... I saw one who used sign language.
    Puddy: ...Yeah... I saw that... Coco.
    Jerry: Yeah, Coco.
    Puddy: Yeah, Coco... That chimp's all right. High five.

    The Reverse Peephole (1998)

    Elaine: What's this? What happened to your fur?
    Puddy: I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check this out. 8 ball. You got a question, you ask the 8 ball.
    Elaine: So you're going to wear this all the time?
    Puddy: All signs point to yes.

    Sep 17, 2009


    A couple characters miraculously turned into different people right before our eyes:

    The original Morty Seinfeld appeared in only one episode (episode 2), and was then replaced by the much funnier Morty (who eventually became Tenant Board President at Del Boca Vista).

    The original Lloyd Braun who appeared in "The Nonfat Yogurt" (1993) was a much slicker version of the funnier, quirkier actor who replaced him in The Gum (1995) and "The Serenity Now" (1997).

    Sep 15, 2009

    You Know I Always Wanted to Pretend I Was an Architect

    George never stopped pretending to pursue his dream of a career in architecture. Below are many of those references, and remember - it's not a lie, if you believe it.

    - The Stakeout (1990)
    George: You came to see me, I work in the building.
    Jerry: What do you do?
    George: I'm an *architect*.
    Jerry: You're an *architect*?
    George: I'm not?
    Jerry: I don't see architecture comin' from you...

    - The Marine Biologist (1994)
    George: Why couldn't you have made me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect.
    George: Yeah, but enough about fish I can talk about other things - like architecture.

    - The Race (1994)
    Lois: What do you do?
    George: I'm an architect.
    Lois: Have you designed any buildings in New York?
    George: Have you seen the new addition to the Guggenheim?
    Lois: You did that?
    George: Yep. And it didn't take very long either.

    - The Blood (1997)
    George: Well, I'm also an architect. Is that pastrami?
    Vivian: Yes it is. I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. Hungry?
    George: Very.

    - The Van Buren Boys (1997)
    George: Besides, Steven Koren has the highest of aspirations. He wants to be ... an architect.
    Wyck: Is that right?
    Steven: Actually, maybe I could set my sights a little bit higher.
    George: Steven, nothing is higher than an architect.
    Steven: I think I'd really like to be a city planner. Why limit myself to just one building, when I can design a whole city?
    Wyck: Well, that's a good point.
    George: No, it's not.
    Steven: Well, isn't an architect just an art school drop-out with a tilty desk, and a big ruler?
    George: (defensively) It's called a T-square.

    Sep 12, 2009

    Mr. Steinbrenner is here, George is dead, call me back

    This could be the scene that best sums up Frank Costanza. Click here for his reaction to learning of his son's death from George Steinbrenner, followed by calling Jerry notifying him of the news. Is there a better Frank Costanza moment?

    Sep 10, 2009

    Mistaken Identities

    Sometimes names were subtly mangled in hilarious ways:

    The Watch:
    Doorman: (into phone) There's a George Bonanza to see you.

    The Bottle Deposit:
    Susie: No daddy, you'll hurt him! I love him! (waving after Newman) Goodbye Norman, goodbye!

    **Ed. update: The farmer's daughter's cry of "Goodbye, Norman! Goodbye!" at the end of the episode was not originally scripted. Actress Karen Lynn Scott forgot that Wayne Knight's character was called Newman and accidentally called him "Norman", but the goof actually made the scene funnier, so it was kept in

    The Baby Shower:
    Jerry: My cable hook-up? What about it?
    Agent: It's been illegally installed, Mr. Steinfeld.
    Jerry: It has? I've been out of town. How did you know?
    Kramer: Jerry, I had to tell them. I had to. I had no choice. They were onto the scam from the very beginning.
    Agent: You're in serious trouble, Mr. Steinfeld.

    The Van Buren Boys:
    Peterman: Peterman here.
    Kramer: Mr. Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back!

    The Maid:
    Man: You Steinfeld?
    Jerry: Yeah.
    Man: My name is Maxwell. I'm from Maid To Order. It's a pun.

    The Bubble Boy:
    Waitress: What's your name?
    Elaine: Jerry Seinfeld.
    Waitress: Gary Steinfield! I saw him on the Tonight Show.

    The Package:
    Kramer: Yeah. All right one chart coming up. Bennette, right?
    Elaine: Benes. My last name is Benes you jackass.

    The Money:
    Morty: You know that number?
    Kramer: I used to have a problem. (into phone) Well, what do you mean, he's not registered? Wha ... S, E, I, N, V ...
    Helen: F. F, E, L, D.

    The Strike:
    Frank: (To George) Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. (To Kruger) Cougar, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe ... I lost my train of thought.

    Sep 8, 2009

    That's Gold, Jerry ... Gold!

    Kenny Bania. First appearing in The Soup (1994), he's the stand up comedian we love to hate. But mostly hate. The best, Jerry, the best!

    The Soup:
    Bania: Oh, get the swordfish. Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry!
    Jerry: I’ll have the salmon.

    The Soup Nazi:
    Bania: This guy makes the best soup in the city, Jerry, the best! You know what they call him? Soup Nazi.

    The Secretary:
    Bania: I told you Mendy’s had the best pea soup. The best Jerry, the best!

    The Fatigues:
    1. Bania: Hey, Jerry! How's it going? You gonna join us for dinner? The duck here's the best. The best, Jerry!

    2. Bania (reading): Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it round tine. That's gold, Jerry, gold!

    Things were also reversed once in this episode. The worst:

    Bania: Maybe she's right. Maybe I am a complete hack. I'm the absolute worst. The worst, Jerry.

    Sep 4, 2009

    Stand Alone Comments

    Some Seinfeld lines need no setup or context - pure genius on their own.

    Kramer: Jerry, you stand on the threshold of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of.

    Kramer: The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one hour martinizing.

    George: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?

    George: You see, you see? I see things as they are and I say, 'no!'. Uh, wait, you see things as they are not and you say ... wait, uh, when you see things, do you see things as they are? What do you say when you see things?

    George: You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me: I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!

    Phone Man: Look, I work for the phone company. I've had a lot of experience with semantics, so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic.

    Sep 3, 2009

    The 5th Player

    Like "the 6th player" in basketball, Seinfeld has their "5th player", the #1 character off the bench who is just short of the starting 4. In Seinfeld, that player can be none other than Frank Costanza. Here are a few gold Frank Costanza moments:

    - You know about the cups?
    Frank: know about the cup sizes and all? They have different cups.
    George: I-I know about the cups.
    Frank: You got the A, B, C the D. That's the biggest.

    - Lock, stock and barrel:
    Frank: (on phone) This .. is .. Frank .. Costanza.
    Morty: What do you want?
    Frank: You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!

    - Rained down blows:
    Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way.
    Kramer: What happened to the doll?
    Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"

    Aug 28, 2009

    You Screwed Me Again, Pennypacker!

    Other than the aforementioned Vandelay, there were a few other pseudonyms that appeared across multiple episodes:

    Kramer as "Dr. Van Nostrand"

    (The Slicer - 1997)
    Kruger: How long have you been doing this Dr. Van Nostrand?
    Kramer: Uuh, long long time. Yes, I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

    (The Strike - 1997)
    Krueger: (recognizing Kramer from "The Slicer") Dr.. Van Nostrand?
    Kramer: Uh.. that's right.

    Jerry as "Kel Varnson"

    (The Boyfriend - 1 - 1992)
    Jerry: Vandaley Industries, Kel Varnsen speaking. May we help you? (6 year gap between mentions in this episode and The Puerto Rican Day).

    Kramer as "H.E. Pennypacker"

    (The Millenimum - 1997)
    Kramer: Hi, I'm H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy American industrialist uh, looking to open a silver mine in the mountains of Peru and uh, before I invest millions in a lucrative mine, I, I'd like to go a little native. Uh, Get the feel of their condiments, of their unmentionables, you know, the real uh, gritty-gritty.

    Elaine: You screwed me again, Pennypacker!

    (The Puerto Rican Day - 1998)
    Sales Woman: Did the broker send you over?
    Kramer: Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. (sniffing wall) Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?
    Sales Woman: The asking price is $1.5 million.
    Kramer: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there's a waterfall grotto?

    All three come together

    (The Puerto Rican Day - 1998)
    Sales Woman: Mr. Pennypacker, this is Mr. Vandelay, And you know Mr. Varnsen.
    Kramer: Uh, Varnsen.
    Jerry: Pennypacker.
    Kramer: Vandelay.
    George: Pennypacker. Varnsen.

    Note - there was a six year gap between Varnsen references. Impressive.

    Aug 27, 2009

    Say Vandelay! Say Vandelay!

    George's famous alter ego - Art Vandelay - appeared in (at least) nine episodes, starting with episode #2 in 1990 and ending with the finale. Usually an architect, the name also sometimes played the role of Vandelay Industries, usually involved in latex.

    - The Stakeout - 5/31/90 (2nd episode)
    George uses Vandelay for the first time when Jerry tries to meet a woman at her office building. They say they are meeting an Art Vandelay for lunch, which Jerry mistakes as Corvelay.

    - The Red Dot - 12/11/91
    During an on the spot job interview with Mr. Lippman, George claims to have read "Venetian Blinds" by Art Vandelay, who is an obscure beatnik writer in the Village.

    - The Boyfriend (1) - 2/12/92
    At the unemployment office, George claims to be interviewing with Vandelay Industries, who is in latex manufacturing.

    - The Pilot (1) - 5/20/93
    In the pilot for "Jerry", the above is acted out.

    - The Cadillac (2) - 1/25/96
    George suggests to Elaine to use Art Vandelay as the name of her boyfriend, who is an importer-exporter.

    - The Bizarro Jerry - 10/3/96
    George claims to have an appointment with Art Vandelay when trying to meet the office receptionist.

    - The Serenity Now - 10/9/97
    During the sales competition with Lloyd Braun, George makes a sales call to Art Vandelay, who buys two dozen computers.

    - The Puerto Rican Day - 5/7/98
    George uses the name in order to see an apartment for sale in order to use the bathroom. There he meets H.E. Pennypacker and Kel Varnson.

    - The Finale - 5/14/98
    The judge trying their case is named none other than Art Vandelay.

    Aug 26, 2009

    Little Known Fact #2

    Of of all 185 episodes, Male Unbonding is the only episode title to not begin with the word "The".

    Aug 25, 2009

    The price? Your soul.

    Just as important as the four major cast members, don't forget about the stand out "tier two" characters. After Frank Costanza, Jay Peterman is arguably right up there on the hilarity meter (followed closely by David Puddy). Here are a few examples of the extravagant prose from one of the unsung heroes of Seinfeld.

    Peterman: I'm afraid the problem with Zach is more serious. He's back on the horse, Elaine. Smack. White palace. The Chinaman's nightcap.

    Peterman: And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand - in search of low-cost whistles. Filled his head with pseudoerotic tales of my own Opium excursions. Plus, I may have given him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.
    Elaine: Look, uh, Mr. Peterman, the fact is that I was planning on breaking up with Zach anyway. He was cheating on me!
    Peterman: Damn it, Elaine. That wasn't Zach. That was the yam-yam. Now, he is going cold turkey. (Ordering) And you will be at his side.

    Peterman: I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium.
    Elaine: Opium?
    Peterman: That's right. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.

    Peterman: Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul.

    Aug 24, 2009

    Caught Boozin'

    Speaking of booze, the big four rarely took a drink. Here are a few select moments they were caught throwin' em back - usually against their will or out of character moments (but never involving Jerry).

    - George drinking with Texas Rangers executives (The Hut Tub - 1995).
    - Elaine with 6 pack of Bud slung over her back - then opens one at Jerry's (The Postponement - 1995).
    - Elaine drinking Schnapps with Jerry at Monk's (to get her to open her vault).
    - Elaine drinking scotch while Kramer tells her story of Billy Mumphrey (The Betrayal - 1997).
    - Kramer celebrating at the bar with cast of Scarsdale Surprise (The Summer Of George - 1997)
    - Kramer telling stories at bar, Elaine stops him because he sold them to Peterman (The Van Buren Boys - 1997).
    - Kramer drinking Hennigans testing for odors (The Red Dot - 1991).
    - Kramer drinking sake with the Japanese in the hot tub (The Checks - 1996).
    - Kramer drinking beer and smoking a cigarette with the Jerry's accountant (The Sniffing Accountant - 1993).

    Aug 21, 2009

    H, E, double N - I ...

    Hennigans - one of those Seinfeld-world only references that pops up in a few episodes. When there was whiskey - there was Hennigans. A few appearances below - any others?

    "The Red Dot" (1991):
    Kramer: Okay, well what am I drinking? What do you got?
    Jerry: I got a bottle of scotch my uncle gave me. It's Hennigans. It's been here for two years. I've been using it as a paint thinner.
    Kramer: That is *damn* good scotch. I could do a commercial for this stuff. Mmmmm, boy that Hennigans goes down smooth. And afterwords you don't even smell. That's right folks. I just had three shots of Hennigans and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigans, the no-smell, no-tell scotch.
    Kramer: Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret. (singing) h-e-double N, I...

    "The Parking Spot" (1992)
    Elaine: Oh god, I need a drink, do you got any Hennigans here?
    Jerry: Yeah, under the counter. What happened?

    "The Boyfriend 1" (1992)
    Elaine: Wait a second wait a minute, You jealous of him or you jealous of me...?
    Jerry: Any Hennigans around here?

    Aug 20, 2009

    Little Known Fact

    The waitress at Monk's Cafe who George thinks is giving him the finger in "The Pledge Drive" (1994) is Julia Louis-Dreyfus' half-sister (same mother).

    Aug 18, 2009

    Prognosis Negative

    You gotta love the ridiculous movie titles mentioned in Seinfeld world - each sounding vaguely familiar while completely fake. You should recognize a few of these:

    - Prognosis Negative
    - Rochelle, Rochelle
    - Sack Lunch
    - Chunnel
    - Blimp: The Hindenburg Story
    - CheckMate
    - Agent Zero
    - Brown-Eyed Girl
    - Chow Fun
    - Cupid's Rifle
    - Firestorm
    - Mountain High
    - Death Blow
    - Cry, Cry Again
    - The Pain and the Yearning
    - Blame it on the Rain
    - Cold Fusion
    - Means to an End
    - The Muted Heart
    - The Other Side of Darkness
    - Ponce De Leon
    - Flaming Globes of Sigmund

    Aug 16, 2009

    Stealthy Larry David Appearances

    Other than the voice of George Steinbrenner, Larry David found his way on to the stage a few times while remaining anonymous. Here are a list of those moments, if you know of others please comment.

  • In "The Gum" (as store clerk) - "I beg your pardon, your majesty, but we don't accept bills with lipstick on the president."

  • In "The Marine Biologist" (as voice at the beach) - "Is anyone here a marine biologist?"

  • In The Airport (as the voice on the airplane) - "Oh, You know what? *I* ordered the kosher meal. I ordered it six weeks ago, I forgot."

  • In "The Chinese Woman" (as man in cape) - "I'm Frank Costanza's lawyer" (also appears earlier walking with Frank in street).

  • In "The Pilot - Part 2" (as one of the men in the Greenpeace boat with Russell Dalrymple)

  • In "The Heart Attack" (as character on TV in sci-fi movie) - "Look, Sigmund. Look in the sky. The planets are on fire. It is just as you prophesied. The planets of our solar system, incinerating. Like flaming globes, Sigmund. Like flaming globes.. Ah, ha, ha, ha.."

  • Aug 14, 2009

    Kramer's Faceless Friends

    Everyone knows Kramer's "friends" that you hear so much about, but never meet. "Bob Sacamano" would probably be the most famous, followed closely by "Lomez", both referenced thoughout the show's 9 seasons. But then there are also the lesser mentioned buddies, like "Jay Reimenschneider" and "Len Nicodemo", who had an unfortunate case of the gout. Below is a list of mentions of these unseen friends, please comment if I've missed any.


    Jerry: Well why are you going?
    Kramer: I'm not, I'm running it.
    Jerry: What are you talking about?
    Kramer: Well Lomez, he usually runs it but he's in the Everglades.
    Jerry: Lomez is Jewish?
    Kramer: Oh yeah yeah yeah. Orthodox, Jerry. Old school.

    Jerry: What's with you?
    Elaine: You remember that next door neighbor of mine, the apartment that always smells like potatoes?
    Jerry: Your whole building smells like potatoes.
    Elaine: This jackass goes to Paris, leaves the alarm on. It's been beeping since 3:30 this morning.
    Kramer: You know, that happened to Lomez, so he blew his neighbor's circuit.
    Elaine: How do you do that?
    Kramer: Yeah well, that's easy. Just let me finish this mile high and I'll be right with you. Oh, and Jerry, we are gonna need a case of Kaiser rolls.
    Jerry: I think we might have one left in the stock room.

    Jerry: Where did you get that butcher's coat?
    Kramer: You buy enough meat, they'll give you anything.
    Elaine: Kramer, my neighbor has a cat. When you blew the power, we must've shut off the automatic feeder.
    Kramer: See, that's the same thing that happened to Lomez.
    Elaine: What did he do about it?
    Kramer: Well, he moved to a hotel and the cat eventually died.
    Elaine: Well, this meowing is absolutely worse than the alarm.
    Kramer: Oh, that's a prickly one.

    George: What's with the bucket?
    Kramer: Lomez, he sold me his hot tub.
    Jerry: Hot tub?
    Kramer: Yeah yeah, it's in my living room. I just gotta fill it.
    George: You put a hot tub... in your living room?
    Kramer: Oh, it's a beauty! It's got these high-volume aqua-sage jets oscillating and pulsating, soothing your every aching muscle. The water's gonna get over 120 degrees!
    George: Is that tolerable?
    Kramer:'s tolerable...!

    Kramer, [on the phone in the shower]: Lomez, you're not listening. Jerry likes the naked, just some of the things she does when she's naked. Calm down, I'm on your side. Geez. Hey, hold on a second. I got a clog, I'll call ya back.

    Kramer: Ahh. Everyone just settle down. We have three hours left on this thing, and I can't drive and argue with you rubes all at the same time. Okay. Lomez's place of worship is right on the right here.

    Bob Sacamano:

    Kramer: My friend Bob Sacamano had shock treatments. But his synapses were so large, it had no effect.

    Kramer: Oh yeah? My friend, Bob Sacamano, he came in here for a hernia operation.. Oh yeah, routine surgery.. now he's sittin' around in a chair by a window going, "My name is Bob" .. George, whatever you do, don't let 'em cut you. Don't let 'em cut you.

    Elaine: I... I think I'm... I'm having trouble swallowing. I can't... I can't swallow.
    Kramer: She's got rabies, just like my friend Bob Sacamano. She's delirious.

    George: This friend of Susan's is staying with us for two weeks...Now am I wrong or is that excessive?
    Kramer: Well Bob Sacamano he stayed with me once for a year and a half.

    Kramer: You know my friend, Bob Sacamano?
    Jerry: Oh, the guy from Jersey?
    Kramer: Yeah. He just got a job at a condom factory in Edison. Look at this, he gave me a gross.

    Elaine: So Kramer what am I supposed to do? If I don't have that fur hat by four o'clock they're gonna take me down like Nixon.
    Jerry: You know my friend Bob Sacamano?
    Elaine: I thought he was Kramer's friend.
    Jerry: Well, he called last night about 3 a.m. we got to talking, he sells Russian hats down at battery park, forty bucks.
    Elaine: Fourty bucks? Are they Sable?
    Jerry: No, but the difference is negligible.
    Kramer: Oh yeah, I like this idea.

    Elaine: Hey, Jer. Are you going to this Bob Sacamano party?
    Jerry: Am I going? It was three nights ago.
    Elaine: What? You're kidding, I just got this invitation today.

    Elaine: Would you please just get on with the stupid Bob Sacamano story?!
    Kramer: Well, I'm on the phone with Bob, and I realize right then and there that I need to return this pair of pants. So, I'm off to the store.
    Elaine: What happened to Bob Sacamano?
    Kramer: Well, nothing. His part of the story is done.

    Jerry: Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards.
    Kramer: Well, what about your deal, huh?
    Jerry: I didn't have a deal! They're two hundred dollars a pop. What do I do?
    Kramer: Well, don't worry about it. I know a guy.
    Jerry: Down here?
    Kramer: Yeah, Bob Sacamano's father.

    Jerry: Right. It's just an activity. It's like that paddle with the ball and the rubber band.
    Kramer: You know, my friend Bob Sacamano made a fortune off of those. See he came up with the idea for the rubber band. Before that, people would just hit the ball, and it would fly away.


    Kramer: The guy's got a fat fetish. Spector never dates a woman under two hundred-fifty pounds.

    Kramer: Well I just got it. Spector gave it to me, he's giving everything away...becoming a minimalist.


    Kramer: It's a verbal contract. We had a deal.
    Elaine: No we didn't. You take these things too literally. It's like saying, you're hungry enough to eat a horse.
    Kramer: Well, my friend Jay Reimenschneider eats horse all the time. He gets it from his butcher.

    Kramer: Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead.
    George: FDR?
    Kramer: Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski.

    Kramer: I'm very good with sick people. They love me. When my friend Len Nicodemo had the gout, I moved into his hospital room for three days, the doctors were amazed at his recovery.

    Aug 13, 2009

    Classic Kramer Rants

    Kramer: You know, I think you're jealous.
    Jerry: Of what?
    Kramer: Yah, yah! You see in Little Jerry Seinfeld the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been, don't make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never-was!
    Jerry: Kramer, give me that rooster!
    Kramer: Never! You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will! Yah-yah!

    Jerry: Ah, you're crazy.
    Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?
    Jerry: It's impossible.
    Kramer: Is it? Or is it so possible that your head is spinning like a top?
    Jerry: It can't be.
    Kramer: Can't it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?
    Jerry: All right, that's enough.

    George: You're a good friend. If you killed somebody, I wouldn't turn you in.
    Jerry: Hey, Kramer, if I killed somebody, would you turn me in?
    Kramer: Yeah.
    Jerry: Really?
    Kramer: Well, you don't just go around killing people.
    Jerry: But you know me!
    Kramer: I thought that I did!

    Kramer: I want you to get on this phone and give him his 'thank you'!
    Jerry: No. No, I can't!
    Kramer: Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't you just get in your car and move to the East Side!
    Jerry: Look, we got five hours before the game. I am betting it was a funeral 'hello'. He knows we're here, he knows the number, he knows we want to go. There's plenty of time for him to call and give us the tickets.
    Kramer: You stubborn, stupid, silly man!

    Kramer: I see....Yessss. Little Miss Candy Bar paid a visit, didn't she?
    Jerry: Kramer, it is not what you think.
    Kramer: Ah, Ah, Ahhhhh! I know what I think. I think you're gaga over this dame. She's twisted you around her little finger, and now, you're willing to sell me, and Elaine, and whoever else you have to, right down the river.
    Jerry: And what about you? Tryin' to bilk an innocent bystander out of a family fortune, built on sweat and toil, manufacturing quality O'Henry candy bars, for honest, hard-working Americans!
    Kramer: You're just out for sex!
    Jerry: You're just out for money!
    Kramer & Jerry: Ah, Ah, Ahhhhh!

    Kramer: What do I need to talk for...ha! To blab to the neighbors about George has a new fem-Jerry friend or to tell everybody at the coffee shop how George is all mixed up in a perverse sexual amalgam of some girl and his best friend.

    Kramer: Well I'll tell you what I think. I think she saw you with that piece off and was devastated. You blew it boy! You really blew it! And you had to ruin it for him. Didn't you?!

    Jerry: So you won't believe what happened with Whatley today. It got back to him that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. Those people can be so touchy.
    Kramer: Those people, listen to yourself.
    Jerry: What?
    Kramer: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else, in search of a dream.
    Jerry: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
    Kramer: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
    Jerry: I am not an anti-dentite!
    Kramer: You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. "Hey, denty!" Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools.
    Jerry: They do have their own schools!